7 Things (11/30-12/6).

1. Xmas Shopping (For Others.)
Usually, I save all my Xmas shopping until the very last minute. And then, when I do finally start, I’m just buying things for myself. This year, I am proud to say that I set a new precedent. On Wednesday I went on a six-hour shopping spree and only bought presents for other people. I was able to cross off about half on my list. (And that made the O.C.D. part of my brain very happy.) Afterward, I partook in my favorite post-shopping activity: drinking. Beer helps to dull the mind and stop you from thinking about how much money you just put on your credit card.

2. Xmas Shopping (For Myself.)
After all that shopping for others, I decided to reward myself this weekend by shopping for me. I know this is horrible to say, but I for one don’t mind that the economy is in the shitter right now… because as a result, there are some really great sales out there! Seriously people, in the spirit of turning lemons in to lemonade, you can turn this economic crisis into a fabulous shopping spree. Under the guidance of my Fashionista-BF, I got a poofy winter jacket, a new raincoat and a multicolored stripped jersey pullover, all half-off at Triple 5 Soul. Then, because with my BF, once you shop you can’t stop… we made our way over to some SoHo sample sale where I got a lovely stripped cardigan, another stripe-y jersey pullover (stripes are in this year, you heard it here first) and a plaid dress shirt all at 70% off. Grand total spent: $321.06. Grand total saved: $375.57. I could feel bad about all the money shelled out, but I’ve decided that when you save more then spend, there should be no guilt involved.

3. Proof I’ve Been Spending Too Much.
Even though I’ve been dropping it like it is hot lately, I still look to cut even the smallest of corners whenever possible. One way I do this is by purchasing theater tickets at the box office instead of online. That way, I don’t have to pay the $5 processing fee that it apparently cost the theater to cover it’s internet bill.

After spending the majority of my Friday indoors (writing, interneting, and worrying about the state of my mental health…) I got off my ass, went for a run, and cleaned myself up real nice. By the time I got down to 42nd Street to pick up tickets (for The Cripple of Inishmaan), I was feeling pretty good. Helping my mood elevation, was the flirty box office attendant. Just as I was telling myself “You’ve still got it, Kiddo!” Flirty McGee told me that my credit card had declined. Jigga, what? I put the tickets on my debt card and made a hostile phone call to my credit company.

Turns out that they were just implementing a little credit card fraud protection, due to all the recent online transactions that had popped up on my bill. I wanted to explain to them it was the holidays, and that yes, people do tend to spend more money around this time of year. However, seeing as my phone call was outsourced to India, I saved my breath and confirmed that yes indeed, I really did spend all that money on iTunes updating my Christmas music.

4. But Baby, It’s Cold Outside.
I went for my first winter run this week. It wasn’t too bad thanks to the Spiderman pants that MD-BF bought for me after I finished the dreaded Master Cleanse:

My Spidey senses were tingling in a good way, and not from hypothermia!

5. Movie Recommendation.
Happy-Go-Lucky.
Besides Sally Hawkins being totally adorable, I highly recommend this movie because it made me feel slightly less insecure about the fact that I’m almost 30 and I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing in terms of being “successful.” It reminded me that it’s okay to have fun and just enjoy life. And also, that I’m very lucky to have the freedom to do so. Sigh. It’s worth $12 to feel that way for 90 minutes, right?

6. TV Recommendation.
Dancing With Dogs on Animal Planet.
Seriously, this show is the shit. It’s just like Best In Show. Only real. And with dancing.

7. Top Chef.
I’m making this prediction in the hopes that I’m proven wrong, but it seems to me that Final Three is destined to be:

All of the other chefs are being pretty much ignored by the editors so far this season. Seriously, can you name (or even picture any) of the other contestants? They only ones that stick out in my head are because of some quirky personality trait they posses, and not because of their cooking skills…

Big Time Dyke:

Wacky Hair Lady:

Jersey Mom:

Okay, to be fair to Jersey Mom, her (sucky) cooking skills also make her stand out.

All I Want For Xmas Is…

1. Poofy Jacket.

2. Hipster Cardigan.

3. Kenneth Cole Boots.

4. Running-in-Winter Jacket.

5. Pilates Classes / Workout Gear / Room Full of Giant Balls.

6. Influences by the Olsen Twins.

7. Tickets to 9 to 5: The Musical.

8. Tickets to Liza at the Palace.

9. Snuggie!
(Thanks to Dirty Uncle Noah for finding this vid and posting it on his blog first.)

10. The Ability to Learn This Choreography.

And, as always…

11. Stanley!

But the one thing you don’t need to buy me this year (because I already bought it for myself) is this:

Best $10 ever spent on eBay!

7 Things (10/26-11/1).

1. The Master Cleanse.
Sorry I haven’t posted on here in awhile.  I was too busy starving myself and blogging over here.  The good news is that the Master Cleanse is over.  Forever. The even good-er news is that you’ll never have to read about the contents of my colon again.  It’s a win-win for both of us.

2. Benefits of the Cleanse, Part I.
It did wonders for my allergies and sinuses.  The last time I went for a run (pre-cleanse) I was very short of breath and almost asthmatic.  For my first post-Cleanse run I kicked some ass.  I ran all of Central Park… that’s 6.5 miles in just under 55 minutes.  If only the former, 30 plus pounds, grade school version of myself could see me now!

3. Benefits of the Cleanse, Part II.
Besides 100+ lemons and three bottles of expensive organic maple syrup, I didn’t spend any money on food for 10 days.  An even bigger miracle… no money spent on coffee or booze.  Thanks to the Cleanse, I was able to transfer a serious chunk of change into my savings account.  I’ve set a goal for myself to have X amount of money in my savings by the end of the year.  Currently, I’m ¾ of the way there.   It’s nice to have money saved up… especially when you already know what you’re going to spend it on: Plane tickets.

For much of 2009 I’m going to be touring the US. So far I have:

1. Trip home for my sister’s wedding(!)
2. (Possibly separate) trip home for my BF to meet the rents.
3. Trip to San Antonio to meet the BF’s rents.
4. Possible gay-cation/winter-get-away to Florida.

And most importantly…

5. Trip with the BF to Dollywood. Yes, DOLLYWOOD!!!

4. Work.
They’re downsizing before the end of the year.  The good news: I’m not losing my job.  The bad news: I’m not losing my job.

5. Married Life.
I’m enjoying it immensely, thank you.  Last weekend I baked an apple pie:

And the BF taught me how to sew.  You see, the BF hosted a Martyr Party for All Saints Day, and I decided that instead of spending $50 on a stupid costume that I would only wear once, I should just make one from scratch.  Well after a trip to Mood, Broadway Fabrics, Pearl Paint, Lee’s Art Store, and American Apparel… I ended up spending $50 anyway.  But at least my costume was handmade with love (and a little frustration.)  Much better than buying something from Ricky’s that has been handmade by slave children in Malaysia.

6. Martyr Party.
I went as Joan of Arc burning at the stake, because after all, I have the hair for it.  Ironically enough, I don’t have any pics of my fabulous Joan hair.   Thankfully, I happened to take these two pics while getting ready in the bathroom… before I consumed too much wine and ate my weight in baked brie.

7. Stylista.
Every year the CW has some shitty new reality show that is so bad, it never gets another season.  (Yes, I’m looking at you, Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants.)  And every year, I get sucked into watching it.  When I first saw the promos for Stylista I said to myself, “This is going to be the year that I break the cycle!”  But then my BF, who made fun of me for watching the first episode of that other CW Crapfest: 90210 (out of morbid curiosity, I swear), decided to DVR it.  And of course, now that I’ve seen one episode, I have to watch them all.

The only person more unlikeable than the brainlessly bland contestants, is this botoxed cow:

I don’t hate her as much as I hate Rachel Zoe.  But then again, that’s like saying I don’t hate 9/11 as much as I hate the Holocaust.

7 Things (9/28-10/5).

1. My One Woman Show.
It’s going great, thanks for asking. I finally have a first draft on all my characters, which means that now all I have left to endure is a million rewrites. The deadline for a November performance is just a few days away. I could probably scrap together a final draft in time, but instead I’ve decided to wait one more month. After all, what’s one more month on top of the six that I’ve already waited?

2. Master Cleanse V2.0.
Only 7 days until I foolishly start Version 2.0 of the Master Cleanse. I’m half excited, half scared. To help myself mentally prepare I’ve 1.) Cut down my coffee intake to one grande Misto a day. 2.) Stopped stress eating at work. And 3.) Started drinking two liters of water a day… just so I can used to the pissing schedule that I’ll be on soon.

3. Shopping Like There’s No Tomorrow… Or No Such Thing As Credit Card Debt.
This weekend I set up an appointment with my personal stylist (my BF) to help me spend some birthday money on a few new items for my fall/winter wardrobe. Trying to be a good boy, I only had three things on my shopping list: A new winter coat, black dress shoes, and shit-kicker boots. However, the birthday money only covered about one shit-kicker… so Momma ended up dipping into her personal savings a little bit.

And then some…

Since I only found two of the three items on my list (winter coat and shit-kickers) I allowed myself a few other (un)needed purchases. Besides stopping into an H&M in search of a single t-shirt and leaving with a giant shopping bag and one less Benjamin Franklin… I also purchased a second jacket at the Army Navy store, that I had no good reasoning for buying other than the fact that it “fit me so well,” quoth my BF. Thank god October is a three paycheck month a work.

4. Running.
Two weeks ago, while watching an episode of The Biggest Loser (yes, I have no shame when it comes to reality TV…) I suffered a brain hemorrhage and got the crazy idea in my head to sign up for a half marathon. I was one credit card transaction away from committing, when thankfully, I came to my senses and decided to sleep on it for a night. While I have been good at keeping up a pretty consistent running routine these past 6 months, I seemed to have forgotten that I only run 5 miles at a time… not 13.5 miles. While I would someday like to work up to 13.5 miles, the half marathon would have been this Saturday, and me thinks that would have been a little bit too soon. Instead, I am happy to report that they only running I did this Saturday, was the running of errands.

5. Latest iTunes Obsession.
A few weeks ago MD-BF and I were enjoying a Inspector Lynley Mystery on PBS and every time they went to commercial, we were invited to join Carole King In Her Living Room. Since then, I haven’t been able to get Ms. King out of my head. I finally downloaded her Greatest Hits on iTunes, which means that I’ve officially turned into a lesbian. It’s like she invited herself into the living room inside my brain and she won’t stop playing this song:

6. Top Model.
Okay, so this photo is actually from last week’s episode, but I didn’t find until this week. And since it’s quite possible my Favorite. Moment. In. Top. Model. History… I simply have to post it:

She’s hoping the earrings draw attention away from her penis.

7. Project Runway.
Kunt-ley.

At this point, I hate her so much that I’m back to loving her.

7 Things (9/7-9/13).

1. Last Week.
I missed out on my “7 Things” post. Here are seven words to bring you up to date: Faggot. Reality-TV. Hair. Disgruntled. Margaritas. Sassafrass. Stella!

2. Coffee.
My addiction grows. Last month, Starbucks (my enabler) had its “$2 after 2pm” deal. Buy any coffee before 2pm, get any grande iced coffee for only $2 after 2pm. I can’t believe I fell for such an obvious marketing trap. But, before I knew it, I couldn’t make it through my workday afternoon without my grande iced vanilla latte (full fat, none of this Chelsea-queen, sugar free, super-skinny, milked from an organic cow crap.) However, at the beginning of this month, just after they conditioned my body to start going through caffeine withdrawal at the stroke of 2pm… Starbucks pulled the plug on their deal.

Instead of spending the full price on my afternoon fix, I decided to compensate by doubling up on my morning Mistos. That worked out for a week… until the dark lord of Starbucks decided to bring back the “$2 after 2pm” deal. You’d think that’d be good news, right? Wrong. For the past two days I’ve exhibited absolutely no self-control by treating myself to two morning Mistos and an afternoon latte. That means that I am spending $7.27 a day at Starbucks. I might as well go back to smoking a pack a day at this point. At least I would be saving myself some money!

3. Running.
Usually, it’s around this time of year that I grow tried of running and decided to let my legs hibernate until the spring. However, now that I’ve traded the streets of Brooklyn for Central Park as my running track, I’m still going strong. (Streets of Brooklyn equals broken glass and mocking gansta’ teens, vs. Central Park which equals a plethora of green foliage and sweaty man-candy for my eyes. You do the math.) Last summer I worked on extending the length of my run, reaching 10 miles. This summer I’ve been working on speed. My goal is to complete my regular 4.5-ish mile run in 30 minutes. Two Wednesdays ago, motivated by the fact that “Top Model” was premiering that night, I finished in 33 minutes. Last Tuesday, I clocked in at 32 minutes, knowing that my honey was waiting for me at home with a pitcher of margaritas. I didn’t set any new record’s on yesterday’s run. However, I still managed to tear it up running around the Jackie Onassis reservoir, thanks to my secret weapon of Friday’s midnight snack of deep-fried mac & cheese at BAMN!,

4. Work.
I went back down to working 4 days a week! With my extra day off I hope to work more on my show, start yoga classes, finish decorating my apartment, do some crafting projects, bake cookies… or you know, just sleep in and watch a bunch of TV.

5. Birthday Presents!!!
My birthday is still a week away, and yet, the presents have already started rolling in. Last week I received a package from Amazon, which I thought was strange since I didn’t order anything from them. Also strange, my middle name was misspelled. (Douglass.) Somehow, I immediately knew that the package was from the mysterious Mr. Warren and that it would have something to do with nude men. Sure enough, this is what Noah sent me.

MD-BF also gave me my birthday present this week, as he was buying me new glasses and Lenscrafters had a sale that was ending on Saturday. My last pair of glasses were from college, and while the frames are cool, they’re too narrow for my enormous, round face. With MD-BF’s passion for fashion, we decided that these awesome frames were a much better fit.

And of course, I already started buying presents for myself. Normally, I hate shopping in SoHo because trendy = expensive. However, I happened to find a little boutique that had 50% off men’s clothes. I managed walk away with long sleeve shirt and a new fall jacket that actually fit my giant (length, not girth) arms!

6. America’s Next Top Model!
So far I’m voting rooting for:

Lesbianic Elina.

Black Fran Drescher.

Hoochie Ghetto Asian.

And of course…

Tranny Isis.

7. Project Runway!

I’m so sad for my girl Terri. Sure she was a little cocky, but I thought she had the talent to back it up. My inside sources tell me that the 6 remaining designers were all at Bryant Park, which means that “the Suede” and Joe got to show. Ugh. What were you thinking Heidi?

The only redeeming part of this last episode was that this happened:

So bad it’s good!

7 Things (8/17-8/23). [Part I]

1. My Job.
Now that I’m working for two, I’ve been putting in a bunch of OT… which is good for my checkbook, but bad for my mental health. This week I clocked in 15 hours of OT. Everyday I go into work thinking, “I can do this. I can stick it out for a few more months. The money is good.” But by the end of the day, the only thought running through my head is “Kill, kill, kill.”

2. Sugar Rush.
One of the only perks of my job is that about once a month we get a free lunch. This week, we got two. That meant back to back days of ginormous dessert trays. If you know me (or my sister) at all, you know that us Kennedy Kids have no self-control when it comes to sweets. Growing up the cupboards were always stocked with snacks, and no dinner went without being followed by a tasty dessert. It’s not that we didn’t eat healthy, we did. But sometimes “healthy” was in reference to the portions and not the content. (We were also a family of “options.” My mom would suggest that my sister and I have should have apple slices or grapes for a snack. But instead, we would always “opt” for the Twizzlers or Cheez Balls.)

At work, I have the misfortune of working in the basement… right next to the break table. So with the dessert tray staring at me all day long, I had no option but to fall into my nasty old habits of feeding my inner fatty. For the curious, Wednesday’s dessert tray definitely trumped Tuesday’s dessert tray. Key lime tart. Fudgy peanut butter bar with dizzled goodness. And my personal favorite: chocolate dipped macaroon!

Since they were cut into smaller servings (therefore smushed all together in my stomach, they probably only equaled one dessert…) I normally wouldn’t feel so bad about eating all three. But considering that Dr. Boyfriend also happened to hand deliver a Magnolia Bakery cupcake to me at work that day, (which I made my co-worker split with me) I ended up feeling like this. But in my defense, some of my gluttonous actions can be blamed on stress eating. (See #1.)

3. Running.
After my sugar feeding frenzy earlier this week, I went for a very hard run both Wednesday and Saturday. I did my usual 4-5ish mile run through Central Park, but both times I upped my speed. Saturday I clocked in at 35 minutes, which means I was doing roughly 8 minute miles. Considering that I used to have to walk the mile run in grade school with all of the fat girls and the girls who wearing having “women prloblems,” I’m pretty proud of my accomplishment.

Helping my speed was my competitiveness. Thanks to the Summer Olympics, I now like to pretend that I am competing in a race against my other Central Park joggers. When I fly by someone who is walking, I feel really good about myself. I would never just up and quit like that, no matter how much pain I was in. But on the flip side, when someone whizzes past me, I tell myself that they just started the race. They’ll get tired and fizzle out soon enough, well before the finish line. Welcome to my world. Check your ego at that door.

4. My Sister.
My sister (who is very short and has not been blessed with luxuriously long gams like me) has put my running exploits to shame by completing a half marathon with her BF this weekend. The most I have ever run is just over 10 miles. They did 13… in front of a crowd! After the marathon she sent me a text that read, “We finished! I met death half way through the race but he said I could pull through. Now time 4 my couch and some magic pills! PS even my toes hurt.” I congratulated her and told her that I too was on the couch after a grueling morning of sleeping in, eating breakfast and watching TV. Her courage has inspired me to maybe one day gather up enough energy to do a google search for half marathons in NYC.

7 Things.

No, the title of this post isn’t a reference to that god-awful song sung by that god-awful slut, Miley Cyrus. Instead, it’s a new weekly feature that I’m adding to my blog.

Since I’ve stopped blogging on a daily basis, I’m sure you’re all wondering what boring, self-deprecating, semi-neurotic musing on my homosexual lifestyle you’ve been missing on out.

So, to appease the masses (there are masses, right?)… here are 7 Things I Would Have Blogged About This Week.

1. My Hair.
As much as I loved my short, Robyn-esque, dyke hair this summer, I’ve decided to grow it back out again for the fall. Specifically for my b’day. I’ve already picked out the outfit I plan to wear, so why not have the hair to match? The good news is that my hair grows fast. The bad news is that it’s not growing fast enough. Last week my hair entered it’s “Awkward Phase.” Currently, I look like a person with short hair who is too lazy or poor to get it cut.

2. My Skin.
It’s flaking. I got some serious sunburn in Miami. The parts of my body that had not seen the light of day since I was young and carefree enough to run around outdoors wearing just a diaper, turned unpleasantly pink. In the past week I’ve shed almost an entire layer of skin. Like a snake. Or someone with severe psoriasis who can’t stop scratching at it.

3. The Olympics.
I’m actually enjoying watching them!

Behold the power of Adonis-like men in spandex!

I suspect that my love of all things competitive is also to blame.

4. Work.
Surprise, surprise… I continue to hate my job. I’ve been looking for something new, but with the economy as shitty as it is, I’d probably have a better chance of winning the lottery and retiring early than finding a new job that will pay me a comparable salary to what I make now, working in hell. And speaking of hell… the one co-worker that I actually liked working with in the dungeon quit. So now, instead of doing the work of two people… I’ll be doing the work of three people, as my third co-worker continues to get paid to be a professional e-mailer.

5. Airline Outrage.
My sister and one of my dear Hags have been bugging to me come home for a quick visit this fall. My sis wants me to bring home Doctor Boyfriend to meet the rest of the fam, and my Hag wants me to come home to meet the love child that I may-or-may-not have fathered. (J/K, sickos.) It used to be that I could get a flight home for just under $200. Yeah, and I also remember the days when gas was 98 cents a gallon. Now the cheapest deal I could find was in the $300 range… and that was only if I wanted to go home for a week and a half. Tickets for a long weekend were dangerously close to the price of rent. Disgusting. Sorry kiddos, but it looks like I won’t be home again until Christmas. (Assuming of course, that I get approved for the small loan I’ll need to take out .)

6. Running.
Thursday night after work I went for an extremely long run in Central Park. Afterwards, Doctor Boyfriend took me out for dinner. Unfortunately, I pushed myself too hard during my run, and I suddenly felt nauseous. I took about 5 bites of pasta and spent the rest of my time staring at my plate. I was afraid that if I lifted my head too far up, the bright lights might make my head explode. After dinner MD-BF was sweet enough to put his doctoring skills to use by laying me down on the couch, and treating my illness with a dose of ginger-ale and a Project Runway booster shot. Which brings me to my last point…

7. Project Runway.
How could they have sent Kelli home?

Really? Over Blayne? I was having flashbacks to last season’s Ricky Gate.

Also, I still hate Brooke Shields.

SJP, you ain’t.

Updates IV: Boring Running Updates.

After failing my N.M.P. (New Monthly Project) for April (finishing my one man show) I was determined to kick some ass on May’s N.M.P. (running 3x per week.)

I came so close…

By the end of the first 3 weeks I had a total of 10 runs.  That’s three times a week, plus one extra run thrown in for good measure.  No pussy runs either.  A light run was 4-5 miles.  Heavy runs, 6-7 miles.  (It sorta sounds like I’m talking about diarrhea, right?  You’re welcome.)

For the end of the 3rd week, I had taken the weekend off, as it was Memorial Day Weekend and my entire 4 days were spent drunk on Fire Island, drunk in Hells Kitchen, and drunk in my backyard in Bed-Stuy.  

Because I knew I was taking the weekend off, at the beginning of the 3rd week I had to really push it.  I went for 4 runs in a span of 5 days.  Not a good idea.  Especially since one of those runs was my 7+ mile run around Prospect Park.  

As a result, my right knee had swollen.  But because I spent my entire weekend intoxicated, I hadn’t really noticed that one knee was twice the size of the other.  Come Tuesday morning, however, once I had sobered up… it was painfully obvious.  

On top of my swollen right knee, my right ankle was cut to shreds thanks to our drunken walk through the bramble patch on Fire Island.  I had been wearing flip flops all weekend long, so once again, it wasn’t until I was forced to put shoes on Tuesday morning that I really noticed how much it hurt.

Long story short… my entire right leg was out of commission for the last week of the month.  Which means that I’ve now had two failed N.M.P.’s in a row.

However, on the bright side, I haven’t given up on running.  My running sched for the rest of the summer is to go twice a week… unless it’s too flipping hot out.  

Mission accomplished for last week.   So far for this week, I’ve only gone once.. but what a glorious run it was.  I had a sleepover at the Good D’s on Tuesday night.  So Wednesday (my day off) I decided to go for my first run ever(!) through Central Park.

I didn’t think I was going to go that far, so I started off at a rather brisk pace.  I should have known better.  5 minutes into my run and I had already made up my mind that I was going to run around the entire park.  But of course being a glutton for pain and punishment, I decided to try and maintain the fast(er) pace that I had already set for myself.

The run felt good (I had a lot of stress to burn off…) But I did almost end up dying.  Stupidly, I waited until the middle of the day (1pm) to start my run.  Right when the sun was at it’s highest and most cancer-giving.  I also hadn’t had anything to drink all morning except coffee.  Hydration is overrated while running in the hot, hot sun.  

By the time I had made it to my cool down power walk, I was seeing stars.  But the thing that really almost made me faint, was when I checked the time on my iPod.  I had ran the entire park (just short of 6 miles) in 50 minutes!  That means I was doing close to 8 minutes miles!  If my grade school self could see me now…

Oh… and as you may or may not have noticed, I did not come up with a N.M.P. for June.  In my head I told myself that finding a new apartment was going to be my N.M.P. for this month.  However, considering how the last two months went… it’s not my official N.M.P.  Just to be safe.

DAY 249: Running Tally, Week #3.

Sunday. 50 minutes. Leisurely to medium pace. 5-6 miles.
It was raining out. But I knew I had to get a head start on my running this week, as I will be out of town and drunk the entire weekend. So I went for a refreshing run in the rain. I was listening to the Daft Punk Alive 2007 album, which totally brought me back to seeing them in concert with Jeannie and my Boo (Lady R.) We got slightly rained upon the night of the concert too, as we sat in the bleachers at the Cyclone’s stadium out on Coney Island. During my run tonight, I was in a very happy place. Except this time, no drugs were involved. However, by the time I finished with my run, I was reminded of one the downfalls of running in the rain: Wet cloth + my nipples + chafing = ouch.

Monday. 80 minutes. Leisurely pace. 8-9 miles.
Counting last Saturday’s run, this was my third day running in a row. Usually Mondays are my long run days, but I told myself I was going to take it easy tonight. The plan was to run to Prospect Park and back, which is a good 4 miles. One of my running goals for this summer was to run to the park, run all around the park, and run back. Apparently, I thought I would peak early and accomplish my goal before summer even began. I don’t know what exactly prompted me to run around the entire park like a crazy man. It could have been a number of things:
1. I was excited about running around trees and nature vs. broken glass and exhaust fumes.
2. I was excited about running with other runners vs. the rude people in my neighborhood who point and heckle.
3. I was listening to some kick ass music, including my new favorite song which I am only slightly ashamed to admit liking.
4. I couldn’t stop thinking about Dr. D.

Thursday. 40 minutes. Medium pace. 4-5 miles.
I think I fucked up my knees with all the running I did earlier this week. I was in quite a bit of pain for the duration of tonight’s run. Good thing I’m taking the next 4 days off from my rigorous running routine. Friday, Saturday and Sunday I’ll be on Fire Island celebrating Lady R’s B’day. Sunday night I’m having a sleepover at Dr. D’s. Monday Jeffrey and I our hosting an intimate BBQ in our backyard, to celebrate our court victory against Evil Landlord. (So don’t expect this blog to be updated again until after the holiday weekend.) As I ran around Fort Greene park tonight I caught the tail end of some fireworks display that was happening down by the river and peaking above the treetops. What a perfect beginning to what’s going to be the Best Weekend Ever.

DAY 244: Running Tally, Week #2.

Monday. 60 minutes. Leisurely pace. 6-7 miles.
I almost crapped my pants multiple times on this run. 1.) When a rottweiler jumped up at me from behind a flimsy chain-link fence. 2.) When some other big dog jumped up at me, held back only by a leash that was attached to a small, frail woman. 3.) When some homeless man laying down outside of a liquor store started yelling obscenities at me. 4.) For the last third of my run where, without having been startled by anything, my bowels still felt like they needed to come out. TMI, I know.

Thursday. 40 minutes. Picking up the pace. 4-5 miles.
Probably my fastest run to date. As I was making my way down to Fort Greene Park, I noticed a hot guy on the other side of the street, also running to the park. He was running at a real runner’s pace. To ogle him a bit longer (and because I like a little healthy competition), I decided to match his pace. I think he noticed, because when I tried to speed up, he sped up. Once we got to the park we went our separate ways… but I foolishly tried to keep the same pace for the rest of my run. I also decided that running up the huge set of stairs at the back entrance to the park was a good idea. My legs did not like me for the rest of the week.

Saturday. 50 minutes. Medium pace. 5-6 miles.
I had a little extra kick in my run today for two different reasons. 1.) While at work I had been texting Dr. D, and I asked him to come rescue me. It was one of those moments where I thought to myself, Wouldn’t it be cute if he actually showed up? But I soon forgot about it…. So when he actually did show up at the end of the day (dropping off a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery for me none-the-less!) I was completely shocked. And flattered. 2.) For my entire run I listened to my latest obsession. Remember when I couldn’t stop talking about how awesome Robyn is? Well, just when I thought I would never find a new artist that I could love even more than Robyn… I discovered Duffy. She’s like Amy Crackhouse, minus the crack. (Which doesn’t make her better or worse. Just different.)

Download her now!