Updates IV: Boring Running Updates.

After failing my N.M.P. (New Monthly Project) for April (finishing my one man show) I was determined to kick some ass on May’s N.M.P. (running 3x per week.)

I came so close…

By the end of the first 3 weeks I had a total of 10 runs.  That’s three times a week, plus one extra run thrown in for good measure.  No pussy runs either.  A light run was 4-5 miles.  Heavy runs, 6-7 miles.  (It sorta sounds like I’m talking about diarrhea, right?  You’re welcome.)

For the end of the 3rd week, I had taken the weekend off, as it was Memorial Day Weekend and my entire 4 days were spent drunk on Fire Island, drunk in Hells Kitchen, and drunk in my backyard in Bed-Stuy.  

Because I knew I was taking the weekend off, at the beginning of the 3rd week I had to really push it.  I went for 4 runs in a span of 5 days.  Not a good idea.  Especially since one of those runs was my 7+ mile run around Prospect Park.  

As a result, my right knee had swollen.  But because I spent my entire weekend intoxicated, I hadn’t really noticed that one knee was twice the size of the other.  Come Tuesday morning, however, once I had sobered up… it was painfully obvious.  

On top of my swollen right knee, my right ankle was cut to shreds thanks to our drunken walk through the bramble patch on Fire Island.  I had been wearing flip flops all weekend long, so once again, it wasn’t until I was forced to put shoes on Tuesday morning that I really noticed how much it hurt.

Long story short… my entire right leg was out of commission for the last week of the month.  Which means that I’ve now had two failed N.M.P.’s in a row.

However, on the bright side, I haven’t given up on running.  My running sched for the rest of the summer is to go twice a week… unless it’s too flipping hot out.  

Mission accomplished for last week.   So far for this week, I’ve only gone once.. but what a glorious run it was.  I had a sleepover at the Good D’s on Tuesday night.  So Wednesday (my day off) I decided to go for my first run ever(!) through Central Park.

I didn’t think I was going to go that far, so I started off at a rather brisk pace.  I should have known better.  5 minutes into my run and I had already made up my mind that I was going to run around the entire park.  But of course being a glutton for pain and punishment, I decided to try and maintain the fast(er) pace that I had already set for myself.

The run felt good (I had a lot of stress to burn off…) But I did almost end up dying.  Stupidly, I waited until the middle of the day (1pm) to start my run.  Right when the sun was at it’s highest and most cancer-giving.  I also hadn’t had anything to drink all morning except coffee.  Hydration is overrated while running in the hot, hot sun.  

By the time I had made it to my cool down power walk, I was seeing stars.  But the thing that really almost made me faint, was when I checked the time on my iPod.  I had ran the entire park (just short of 6 miles) in 50 minutes!  That means I was doing close to 8 minutes miles!  If my grade school self could see me now…

Oh… and as you may or may not have noticed, I did not come up with a N.M.P. for June.  In my head I told myself that finding a new apartment was going to be my N.M.P. for this month.  However, considering how the last two months went… it’s not my official N.M.P.  Just to be safe.

DAY 229: NMP: Run ‘n’ Fun.

Another month, another New Monthly Project…

Last month’s NMP of finishing my one man show was a complete failure. I hardly even worked on it. The deadline to submit to the theater is the 10th of every month. And while I do have enough material to throw something together to submit in time… if it got accepted, I’d have to bust my ass to turn it into something good. Instead, I’d rather wait another month and submit something good to be begin with, and then bust my ass and turn it into something great.

Anycrap, this month’s NMP is to get back to running again! (I put an exclamation at the end of that sentence, trying to trick myself into believing that I’m excited about it!)

I actually got a head start on this NMP last month, in order to snap out of my post-Mary Land depression. I went on two 20 minutes runs, and didn’t want to die afterwards… a good sign that I might be able to stay committed to my NMP this time.

For those of you who weren’t fortunate enough to read all my boring running blogs from last spring and summer, here’s the backstory on my love/hate relationship with running:

Because I came from a very sports-based family, I was forced to partake in athletic after-school activities. (Apparently, band and drama club just weren’t cutting it.) My freshman year, I played soccer, because that’s what I played in grade school. And just like in grade school, I spent pretty much the entire season keeping the bench warm for the good players.

You might not know this, but soccer players can be bigger bullies than football or baseball players. I was ridiculed not for my poor defensive skills, or for the fact that I couldn’t run up and down the field without running out of breath… but for my effeminate personality off the field. Seriously, some days I thought I was going to be raped by a group of freshman Catholic school boys… and not in a hot way.

Sophomore year I wised up and switched sports. Or at least I thought I was being wise. Everyone always told me that with my long legs, I would be an excellent cross-country runner. Everyone was wrong. I think they mistook the fat on my thighs for muscle. In high school I was about 20-30 pounds heavier. (5 extra pounds in each breast, 10 in the face, and the rest in my badonkadonkdonk.)

The upside of joining the cross-country team, was that the team was so big I could get lost in the crowd and not be made fun of. The downside, however, was that there were 3x as many people for me to be worse than. I wasn’t so much getting “lost in the crowd.” It was more like the crowd was losing me, as I was at least a mile or five behind everyone. I seriously came in last every single time.

Halfway through junior year I quit, which did not sit well with my parents. I didn’t tell anyone I quit. I just stopped showing up to practice, and spent my time hanging out with my friends after school. I doubt anyone really noticed. My parents soon enough figured it out when I didn’t have any more meets to invite them to. It was just like when I secretly quit the choir in 6 grade. Except to this day, I still can’t sing.

But now I can run. And I’m actually quite good at it. I started up again right after college, in order to help myself quit smoking. I ran 5+ miles every day for a month, coughing up black tar out of my lungs all along the way. Once I felt secure enough to not go back to the nic-stick, I quit running. (Turns out I’m pretty good at quitting things.)

I lasted almost 3 years without smoking. Until I moved to New York and foolishly thought that I could just be a “social smoker” again. Wrong! Soon I was back to half-a-pack a day, and I knew that it was time to get those legs moving again.

Last President’s Day (March ‘06) I stopped smoking (shared my last one with my Boo) and started running again. I got to know the industrial plants of Williamsburg quite well, running 2-3 times a week. By the end of the summer I had reached my goal of a 10 mile run, and was quite proud of myself. My last run was actually back home in MN, at my parent’s cabin, while I was on vacation. As soon as I got back to the city, Jeffrey and I had to make our move to Bed-Stuy, and I no longer had time for running. My days were soon filled with painting, home improvements, and devoting all of my free time to my DVR.

But now that the TV season is almost over, it’s time to get back into shape. I haven’t started smoking again (13 months strong!) and I eat a lot healthier (meat-free for 6 months), but I still feel a bit lethargic. Although running can be a pain in the ass (and many other unused muscles in my body), it does help to clear my head and make me feel somewhat less mentally unbalanced.

My goal for this month is to run 3 times a week. After that, I don’t want to become one of those crazy, workout-obsessed people, but I would still like to try and exercise at least twice per week. It’s hard to commit to running in the winter, but maybe I can finally join a gym. (Or maybe not, as I still fear trying to use weights in front of other people.)

The point is, I’d like to stay active year round, an not just when there’s nothing good on the TV. Also, someday I want to run the NYC Marathon. I don’t think I could train for that while I still have my hateful, full-time job. But once I am able to freelance, and get solid work as a writer, maybe I would have the time to run 5 days a week for miles and miles and miles. (Of course, by the time that fantasy happens, my decrepit body probably won’t be able to handle it.)

Anycrap… look for more boring running blogs coming soon!

DAY 197: April Fool’s Day, Bitches!

Okay, I’m sure I didn’t really fool anyone, but just in case you didn’t figure it out, I was totally J/K-ing about going back on the Master Cleanse. Not that I would never do it again… but certainly not for 30 days!

My real N.M.P. (New Monthly Project) is to finish writing my one person show. It’s actually pretty close to being done. Right now I have about 4 solid monologues. I just have to bang out 2 or 3 more and then polish everything and make it work.

In other news, now that my N.M.P. for March is over, I’m back to spending money frivolously. After work I hit up Bed, Bath & Beyond for a quick shopping fix. My intent was to just buy a cheap black frame for the artwork I made at MaryLand, but somehow I ended up walking out of there with 12 wine glasses (for only $10!), tea candles, a muffin pan, and a giant teddy bear container full of animal crackers.

The good news is that I had a $25 giftcard left over from Christmas, so a portion of my spending was justified. The bad news is that I still ended up spending money on things I don’t really need. (Yes, I’m talking to you, muffin pan.)

Thankfully, I couldn’t do too much damage in B,B&B as I had to rush home for Dolly Night on American Idol!!!

In case you’re wondering (probably not, though) I only ended up voting for my two standbys (Brook and Carly.) But really, I thought that everyone did a wonderful job on Ms. Dolly’s masterpieces (except of course Ramiele and Robo-Kristy.)

Of course, this means that come Thursday, I will be partaking in even more unnecessary spending, when all of their songs become available on iTunes.

Old habits die hard. Or in some cases, they never die at all.

DAY 196: NMP: April!

I’m totally getting into having a New Monthly Project each month.

February was Date Month. March was Save Money Month. (Don’t ask about my taxes… my dad was no help. As of now, I’m still in the red.)

For April, I’m looking to improve my health. Last week I stepped on the scale for the first time in many a moon, and I was shocked to see that I have gained most of my pre-Master Cleanse weight back.

Now, I know the M.C. isn’t supposed to be used as a method of weight loss. It’s supposed to kick your ass in to eating healthier. And I would say that ever since doing the M.C. my eating habits have changed for the better. I cook for myself all the time now. I’ve added a lot more fruits and vegetables to my diet.

But recently, I’ve started getting careless about my junk food intake. Why just this morning, to make up for being late to work, I bought a bag of Recess Peanut Butter Cups for me and my my co-worker (the one I actually like) to share. I know it may not seem like a lot, but it’s the little stuff that starts to add up.

So, in order to nip this junk food junk in the bud, I’ve decided to go on the Master Cleanse again. I know, I know… I can hardly believe it myself. I promised myself I would never put my body through all that shitting again. But, I always love a good challenge and it will give me something to blog about.

The last time I did Le Cleanse, it was for 10 days. This time, I’m steppin’ it up and aiming for a 30 day shitfest. My last meal is going to be this Wednesday with Jeffrey, Jeannie and A. Rod. After that, it’s back to lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper.

Mmmmm…. I’m getting thirsty already.

In related news, my friend Cody has started a new weight loss blog. He’s hilarious and you should check it out. I’ve listed him under my “Blog Friends,” or you can just click here for the link.

DAY 172: T.S.F.P. Recap.

Here’s a quick recap of my T.S.F.P. (Top Secret February Project)

Number of Dates: 15

Number of Guys: 12

Number of Drinks: 17
(9 Gin & Tonics, 4 Beers, 2 Mojitos, 1 Red Wine, 1 Lychee Martini)

Number of Dollars Spent: $211
($286 if you count the $75 I spent signing up for Match.com)

Number of Guys I Am Still Seeing: 0

Yup. And I’m actually not bitter about it. By forcing myself to go on a bunch of dates, I discovered what I’ve always suspected: I’m not really into dating.

So is this still The Year of the Boyfriend? Sure. But I’m just hoping that he’ll magically find me. Cuz I’m tired of looking.

DAY 166: New Monthly Project!

Last month, my goal was to go on as many dates as possible. This month, my goal is to get my finances back on track. Which basically means, for the next four weeks, I am going to be as frugal as possible.

For me, the month officially begins today, Sunday. I know yesterday was technically the first of the month, but it was also Jeffrey’s B’Day Extravaganza and I dropped some serious cheddar on dinner, drinks, more drinks, and a cab ride home which cost extra because we were too drunk to give proper directions.

So starting today, here are the goals that I have set for myself:

*Do my taxes.
*Pay off credit card.
*Open up a savings account.
*Stop buying Starbucks every morning before work. (Projected savings: $55.35)
*Brown bag it everyday. (Projected savings: $100)
*Not sign up for any more improv classes. (Projected savings $325)
*Only going out on the weekends. (Projected savings: $0– I rarely go out as it is.)

Tonight was my first test. I had a show at a bar in the LES and I had just enough money for one drink. Luckily, Beta bought my next two drinks for me. (Thanks girl, I got your back come April.)

Ironically, I still don’t know what I am going to do about my job. If I was really committed to saving up a bunch of money, I would suck it up and comply with the new dress code. However, if I choose to do so, I know that a little part of me will die. And what good is money to me if I’m dead inside?

DAY 158: Cheatin’.

Dateless. Again. Since I was on my death bed all week, I wasn’t very proactive about trying to set up anymore dates for the rest of the month. It is now virtually impossible for me to meet my “21 dates for the month” quota. I considered extending my dating challenge for another week so that I can meet my goal, but honestly, I’m over it. (And besides, I have different goals for next month that will conflict with dating anyhow.)

Instead of branding myself a failure, I’ve decided to lower my quota from 21 dates to 15. Is that cheating? Sure, but you try finding 21 guys who aren’t going to flake out on you! Besides, going on 15 dates still means that I was dating for over 50% of the month, and that’s more than enough for me.

Staying home tonight was actually a really good thing for me anyhow. I went grocery shopping. Did my laundry. Cleaned the kitchen. Cleaned my room. And did the 8 million other little things that I haven’t been able to do this month thanks to my rigorous dating schedule.

And after my cleaning fit I had a nice quiet date with myself. Wine, cheese & crackers, and a little DVR action. It was perhaps my best date so far.

DAY 148: Reader’s Choice.

In my quest to find 21 dates for this month, I’ve tried using just about every internet site I could think of that didn’t have the words “man” or “hunt” in it. From Match.com to Crazyblinddate.com to even finally joining Facebook… I have exhausted just about all of my options. Expect for one. My old standby: Craigslist.

Now I don’t know how it is for you straight people out there, but for us gays, the “men seeking men” section on CL might as well be called “men seeking a dick up their ass,” or “pee on me.” It is not a place you go to find a date. Unless you’re desperate… like me.

I posted an add stating that I would like to find a (sexless) date for Valentines day. I figured if anyone was crazy enough to go on a date with a stranger for V-day, it was going to be someone from CL. Much to my surprise, I got a number of responses. Even more surprising: The people responding weren’t all crazy!

Now, I’ve already set up my date for tomorrow, but I still have lots of open slots on my dance card for next week. So dear readers, I leave it up to you. Below are two responses that I am contemplating following up on. In my comment section, vote for the one you think is most worthy of my love:

1. Jason
Hey, I’m 26, a grad student studying international politics, and have lived in several countries around the world. I like all things related to health/food/cooking, and I like to stay active and outdoors, travel. I love trying new things and experiences, and love being happy and surrounding myself with good people. I’m also one of the most genuine people you’ll ever meet. Hope to hear back!

2. Steve.
great posting!
romance is not dead at least as far as i am concerned but then again i am old school.
i am mid 30s tall lean raised in london most recently lived in paris now based in nyc successful creative professional laid back sane vegan/vegetarian
looking forward to knowing more about you.
thanks much and cheers!

DAY 132: T.S.F.P. Revealed.

Here’s an e-mail I sent some of my friends early this morning (and yes, I’m one of those people who types in all lowercase letters):

dear fags & hags,

as most of you know, i have a blog. the goal for my blog this year is to work on becoming more boyfriend-friendly. well, i’ve been slacking. so for the month of feb, i’m picking up that slack by forcing myself to go on as many dates as possible. (originally, I was going to try and go on a date every single night for the entire month, but i’ve finally come to terms with that being physically, emotionally and financially impossible.)

so here’s where i need your help… um, do you have any decent gay friend that you can set me up with? i’m already relying on match.com, crazyblinddate.com, and good ol’ craigslist… but i could use your matchmaking skills too.

obviously, i’m going to blog about this. you should probably warn any potential match-ups of that. but don’t worry, i’ve already set a few important ground rules for blogging about my dates:

1. names will be changed.
2. nothing bad will be said about my date. only self deprecating comments about myself are allowed.
3. no blogging about the date rape that will, without a doubt, be taking place.

so ladies, do your best. or your worst, if you want to see me suffer.

here are some important links you might want to give your mens so they can stalk me online first:
my blog: www.bkennedy2411.blogspot.com
my facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655427401
my myspace: http://www.myspace.com/bkennedy2411

thanks in advance!

xoxo,
brian

So there you have it, my Top Secret February Project has been revealed.

It’s a little anti-climatic, I know. Going on “as many dates as possible” is much less exciting than “going on a date every single day for the entire month,” but cut me some slack, I still want to have a life outside of boys. Plus, I’d be very sad if I had to miss out on my Wednesday night Project Runway parties, the Oscars (even if it’s a stupid “conference” like the G.G. were, you bet your ass I’ll be watching it), or Jeffrey’s bday party extravaganza.

What if I told you my goal number of dates for the month was 21? That’s exciting, right? Right?

Well anyway, if you know anyone I should date, or you yourself are interesting in dating me… please e-mail me. From here on out, I’m just a date-slut who can’t say no.

e-mail: bkenedy2411@gmail.com