My first resolution for 2009 is to stop blogging. In case you haven’t heard, personal blogging is dead. These days it’s all about the Twittering and the Facebook Status Updating. My breed, is a dying breed. But I’m okay with that. With all the resolutions I’ve made for ‘09, I’m gonna be plenty busy…
RESOLUTIONS FOR 2009
1. Stop blogging.
2. Take a writing class.
3. Write a screenplay.
4. Write a TV pilot.
5. Perform my one-woman show.
6. Get career counseling.
7. Quit working at the pharmacy.
8. Spend less time on the internet.
9. Watch less TV.
10. Get my grill fixed.
Thanks to all my loyal readers for loyally reading all these years. I’ll miss you!
Because my opinion matter greatly to all of you… My “Top 3″ lists for 2008.
TOP MUSIC
1. Robyn, Robyn
2. Rockferry, Duffy
3. Kala, M.I.A. Runner’s Up: Shine, Estelle Santogold, Santogold 19, Adele
TOP THEATER/DANCE
1. The Cripple of Inishmaan, Atlantic Theater
2. Fraulein Maria, Joe’s Pub
3. Gypsy, St. James Theater Runner’s Up: Sunday in the Park With George South Pacific Raul Esparza in Speed the Plow.
TOP MOVIES
1. Happy-Go-Lucky
2. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
3. The Dark Knight Runner’s Up: American Teen Rachel Getting Married Momma Mia– Actually the WORST movie of the year… but I feel with enough alcohol, it could be one of those movies that’s so bad, it’s good to watch (drunk.)
1. Things I Did Get Done On My “To Do List” Today. *Work on rewrites for One Woman Show
*Set up blog for Master Cleanse V2.0
*Buy shitload of lemons and limes for M.C. V2.0
*Go for a run
2. Things I Didn’t Get Done On My “To Do List” Today. *More shoe shopping
*Make mega-gay workout mix for MD-BF
*Call home
*Do something about my cellphone
3. Cellphone.
I dropped my cellphone in the toilet yesterday. And yes, I was sober. The good news is that wasn’t any piss in the toilet yet. The bad news is that there was toilet water in the toilet and now my phone doesn’t work. I hope you haven’t been trying to call or text me.
4. Wig Out!
If you can still get tickets, I highly recommend this show. Is it the best piece of theater ever? No. Is the runway show that happens at the beginning of the second act the best thing I’ve seen in a while? Yes. It also helped that for the sound design, they seemed to have hijacked my iPod. Beyonce, Solange, DC3, J.Hud… I was in Black Diva Heaven!
5. New Character?
At the performance of Wig Out! that MD-BF and I saw, we spotted a new character for my One Woman Show:
The theater seats were raked, expect for the onstage seats where she was sitting. The poor gays behind her had to crank their necks through out the entire show. If she had painted her face blue, she would have looked just like Papa Smurf.
6. ANTM.
So long Robo-Christina Aguilera. You did a good job falling up those stairs!
7. Project Runway.
While I’m thankful that I don’t have to see this walk down the runway at the finale:
And that Cuntley will be sticking around to add some much needed drama:
I am most thankful that my girl Korto will still be representing:
Praise Jesus!
My B’day is exactly one month away. It’s never too early to start your shopping, right?
And no, I am not referring to the shopping that I expect other people to do for me. Instead, I’m referring to the horrible habit I have of buying myself a bunch of “presents” in the name of my own birthday.
Friday night the Good Doctor and I saw our first movie together. It was also my first movie of the summer. I wanted it to be good.
Instead, I got this stinking heap of shit:
Seriously, WTF? All the reviews I read said the movie itself wasn’t great, but that the music made up for it. I would have had been happier paying $12 to sit in a dark theater and listen to ABBA while staring at a blank screen.
In the movie no one could sing. But worse than that, was the choreography. It was so bad, it was offensive. It was either very literal, like at the beginning of this clip, during the “Shooting a sitting duck” line:
(And let’s not even get into the guys coming out of the water while our two young ingenues awkwardly give each other their best “Come hither, I’m sexy” look on the beach.)
Or the choreography was non-existent, like when Pierce Brosnan just stands there as Momma Meryl flails her arms about and sings:
(Although, Pierce just standing there and saying nothing is loads better than when he opens his mouth and actually attempts to sing.)
If it wasn’t for the fact that I wanted to slap and/or punch all of the main female characters in the face (Sorry, I’m all of girls having fun… but no one should giggle, squeal and squeak that much), I might think that this is one of those movies that’s so bad it’s good. But alas, I doubt that even a room full of bitchy queers watching it while drinking could make it any better.
Consider this a public service announcement. Don’t see this movie! I would recommend something else to you, but like I said… it’s the first one I’ve seen all summer.
Here’s a list of potential movies I want to see to wash the shitty taste of Momma Mia out of my mouth:
1. Sex in the City. (Yes, I know this came out three months ago.)
2. Wall*E. (Feel like I should see it.)
3. Dark Knight (Feel like I should see it.)
4. Brideshead Revisited.
5. American Teen.
If you’ve seen any of these, and you know they’re bad… can you return the favor and try and stop my from seeing them? Thanks.
Please forgive me dear readers for the lack of posts recently. My stress levels are at an all time high right now. Apartment hunting in NYC is not something that I would wish on my own worst enemies. Actually… I probably would wish it upon them. I’m spiteful like that.
In fear of jinxing myself, I don’t want to actually post about my apartment hunt until it’s finished. Which better be soon. I don’t think my heart can palpated much faster.
One thing that always makes me feel better and more in control (besides cleaning) is listing.
I have so much to do right now, but so little time. This weekend the gang is off to Mary Land. Which is delightful. And terrifying. I would like to have everything wrapped up before we leave on Friday, but the chances of that happening are slim to never.
Looks like I’ll be forced to make two lists:
THINGS TO DO BY THE END OF TODAY *Laundry
*Buy sleeping bag (we’re camping at Mary Land)
*Buy air mattress (I’ll be damned if I’m sleeping on the ground)
*Buy new digital camera
*Buy more flip-flops at H&M
*Spend more money that I shouldn’t be spending
*Make playlist for car ride down to Mary Land
*Pack for Mary Land (I’m spending the next two nights at the Good D’s)
*Pack for spending the next two nights at the Good D’s
THINGS I NEED TO DO BY THE END OF THE MONTH *Find an apartment
*Find a roommate
*Finish all the backlogged episodes of BSG in my DVR
*Pack everything I own
*Move everything I own
*Unpack everything I own
*Not kill myself
