Like the true desperate housewife that I am, I’m already starting to stress over the Holiday Party that Jeffrey and I are hosting next weekend.
As per the Book of Rules for Fags, every party must have a theme. Our theme is “White Trash Xmas.” Also, according to “the Book,” no fag is allowed to skimp when it comes to decorations. I of course want to go all out, however, I’m extremely broke right now, and on top of that, none of the alleged “thrift stores” in Manhattan have the supplies that I need.
Tonight after work I hit up Goodwill, Salvation Army and Housing Works. My first goal was to find a cheesy holiday sweater to wear for the party. I couldn’t even find any non-holiday sweaters. My second goal was to pick up some decorations for the party. White trash decorations. (Anything that’s big, plastic, lights up and plays music.) The best these stores could offer me was a few ordinary, traditional, boring decorations that Target sells, but in busted up boxes. Boo.
The other thing that really pisses me off about NY thrift stores, besides the dearth of actual kitsch, is their prices. I mean, I know this is NY, but come on, $20 for a ratty old t-shirt? I blame the Hipsters. They must have tipped the stores off to the actual value of such gems. This never would have been a problem back home in the good old Midwest. I could have bought five holiday sweaters and filled a shopping cart full of decorations, all for $20. Sigh. That’s often the only thing I miss about home.
After my shopping failures I spent the rest of my night out drinking my pre-holiday stress away with Jeanne & Co. and my Boo, Robert… only to come home to the best surprise ever! Jeffrey had found a local, REAL thrift shop in our hood (bless you, Bed-Stuy!) and bought the most amazing thing:
It looks like Christmas won’t be ruined after all!
