Because my opinion matter greatly to all of you… My “Top 3″ lists for 2008.
TOP MUSIC
1. Robyn, Robyn
2. Rockferry, Duffy
3. Kala, M.I.A. Runner’s Up: Shine, Estelle Santogold, Santogold 19, Adele
TOP THEATER/DANCE
1. The Cripple of Inishmaan, Atlantic Theater
2. Fraulein Maria, Joe’s Pub
3. Gypsy, St. James Theater Runner’s Up: Sunday in the Park With George South Pacific Raul Esparza in Speed the Plow.
TOP MOVIES
1. Happy-Go-Lucky
2. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
3. The Dark Knight Runner’s Up: American Teen Rachel Getting Married Momma Mia– Actually the WORST movie of the year… but I feel with enough alcohol, it could be one of those movies that’s so bad, it’s good to watch (drunk.)
1. My One Woman Show.
It’s going great, thanks for asking. I finally have a first draft on all my characters, which means that now all I have left to endure is a million rewrites. The deadline for a November performance is just a few days away. I could probably scrap together a final draft in time, but instead I’ve decided to wait one more month. After all, what’s one more month on top of the six that I’ve already waited?
2. Master Cleanse V2.0.
Only 7 days until I foolishly start Version 2.0 of the Master Cleanse. I’m half excited, half scared. To help myself mentally prepare I’ve 1.) Cut down my coffee intake to one grande Misto a day. 2.) Stopped stress eating at work. And 3.) Started drinking two liters of water a day… just so I can used to the pissing schedule that I’ll be on soon.
3. Shopping Like There’s No Tomorrow… Or No Such Thing As Credit Card Debt.
This weekend I set up an appointment with my personal stylist (my BF) to help me spend some birthday money on a few new items for my fall/winter wardrobe. Trying to be a good boy, I only had three things on my shopping list: A new winter coat, black dress shoes, and shit-kicker boots. However, the birthday money only covered about one shit-kicker… so Momma ended up dipping into her personal savings a little bit.
And then some…
Since I only found two of the three items on my list (winter coat and shit-kickers) I allowed myself a few other (un)needed purchases. Besides stopping into an H&M in search of a single t-shirt and leaving with a giant shopping bag and one less Benjamin Franklin… I also purchased a second jacket at the Army Navy store, that I had no good reasoning for buying other than the fact that it “fit me so well,” quoth my BF. Thank god October is a three paycheck month a work.
4. Running.
Two weeks ago, while watching an episode of The Biggest Loser (yes, I have no shame when it comes to reality TV…) I suffered a brain hemorrhage and got the crazy idea in my head to sign up for a half marathon. I was one credit card transaction away from committing, when thankfully, I came to my senses and decided to sleep on it for a night. While I have been good at keeping up a pretty consistent running routine these past 6 months, I seemed to have forgotten that I only run 5 miles at a time… not 13.5 miles. While I would someday like to work up to 13.5 miles, the half marathon would have been this Saturday, and me thinks that would have been a little bit too soon. Instead, I am happy to report that they only running I did this Saturday, was the running of errands.
5. Latest iTunes Obsession.
A few weeks ago MD-BF and I were enjoying a Inspector Lynley Mystery on PBS and every time they went to commercial, we were invited to join Carole King In Her Living Room. Since then, I haven’t been able to get Ms. King out of my head. I finally downloaded her Greatest Hits on iTunes, which means that I’ve officially turned into a lesbian. It’s like she invited herself into the living room inside my brain and she won’t stop playing this song:
6. Top Model.
Okay, so this photo is actually from last week’s episode, but I didn’t find until this week. And since it’s quite possible my Favorite. Moment. In. Top. Model. History… I simply have to post it:
She’s hoping the earrings draw attention away from her penis.
7. Project Runway.
Kunt-ley.
At this point, I hate her so much that I’m back to loving her.
The good news is that I’ve been getting a lot of work done on writing my one-woman show. The bad news: I’m gonna half-ass this blog post.
1. British Invasion.
My BF was in Prauge for the majority of last week, so I quickly found myself in the arms of an ex-lover: My Netflix account. But this time, instead of watching endless reality trash, I’ve become addicted to all things BBC. The main perps:
Next up in my Queue:
2. New Music Obsession #1
One of my co-workers bought me an iTunes giftcard for my b’day… so I went a little crazy on iTunes and I found my new Friday Night Anthem: “Girls Night Out” by the Judds. Love it, love it, love it.
This video is kind of funny. But if you want a really funny video for this song, check out this link. I would LOVE to meet her at a karaoke bar.
3. New Music Obsession #2.
Meet Roisin Murphy. She’s Ireland’s version of Kylie. Unfortunately, only her first album is available on iTunes, and it does not include this song:
Were I a pop star, I would totally make over-the-top videos like this. Sorry Madge, but this beats you dancing around in a purple uni-tard any day.
4. Cookie Time!
Before he left, MD-BF bought me some new cookie cutters to add to my odd collection. Delicious results below:
Needless to say, I’ve been eating cookies all week.
5. Master Cleanse.
To help end my cookie eating habit, Beta and I are thinking of doing the Master Cleanse again. In two weeks. I’m trying to mentally prepare myself now. By eating more cookies.
6. America’s Next Top Model.
Although her picture wasn’t all that great this week, Black Fran Drescher can do no wrong by me.
Even though it seems like Lauren Brie may already have this whole thing in the bag, I’m still rooting for my girl Joslyn. And since after just three weeks she’s the only black girl left… I’m pretty sure that Tyra’s won’t be sending her home anytime soon.
7. Project Runway.
Me elation in this going home:
Was almost ruined by this sticking around:
Oh well, at least I had still had this to keep my spirits up:
Long live Shania Jank!
…But last night I went and saw Devo at McCarren Park Pool instead.
Totally worth it. Any group that has a song called “Mongoloid” is a-okay in my book.
Sure, maybe throwing all those beers back with the MaryLand crew before, during, and after the concert wasn’t a good strategy for getting up early and packing this morning.
But it sure helped me to blow off some steam and let go of all the stress that the past few weeks have brought.
Whip it good, y’all!
Sorry for the lack of posts recently dear readers. Time has not been on my side. I’m moving in 4 days. I have yet to pack a single box.
Yesterday I had a mini-panic attack at work. I made of list of everything I had to do before my move and felt (slightly) better. However, while eating leftover Chinese for lunch, I got this fortune:
“You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.”
Um, thanks fortune cookie. As if moving didn’t suck enough already, you’re now telling me that I’m going to have to do it many times over again before I find peace of mind? Awesome.
I swear, the only thing that is allowing me to keep my head above water through out all this, is this song:
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try and strut down 8th Ave the way the girls do in this video. Yes, I have no shame left. But come on… it’s good, trashy fun. Would you expect anything less from me?
In keeping with the theme of naming my collection of iPods after old school female country singers, I decided that my new iPod shall be christened Loretta. I got her name engraved on the back, just so that everyone knows it’s mine.
Loretta was a present from my landlord after we won our court case against him. He also bought me this and this. Isn’t he a sweetheart?
To make Loretta feel wanted, I of course showered her with a bunch of gifts. 30 of them to be exact.
Meet my latest obsessions:
Santogold.Santogold.
I was just going to buy the single… but since I heard she was the new M.I.A., I went ahead and bought the whole album. A wise decision.
Keyshia Cole.Let It Go.
I heard this song while waiting in line at H&M and fell in love. (‘Specially since my gurrl Lil’ Kim is in it!) What’s become of me???
Katy Perry.I Kissed A Girl.
After her first single, Ur So Gay, I thought her songs were pretty gimmicky. I Kissed A Girl only confirms this. But I’ll be damned if it’s not a catchy little gimmick!
Sunday.50 minutes. Leisurely to medium pace. 5-6 miles.
It was raining out. But I knew I had to get a head start on my running this week, as I will be out of town and drunk the entire weekend. So I went for a refreshing run in the rain. I was listening to the Daft Punk Alive 2007 album, which totally brought me back to seeing them in concert with Jeannie and my Boo (Lady R.) We got slightly rained upon the night of the concert too, as we sat in the bleachers at the Cyclone’s stadium out on Coney Island. During my run tonight, I was in a very happy place. Except this time, no drugs were involved. However, by the time I finished with my run, I was reminded of one the downfalls of running in the rain: Wet cloth + my nipples + chafing = ouch.
Monday.80 minutes. Leisurely pace. 8-9 miles.
Counting last Saturday’s run, this was my third day running in a row. Usually Mondays are my long run days, but I told myself I was going to take it easy tonight. The plan was to run to Prospect Park and back, which is a good 4 miles. One of my running goals for this summer was to run to the park, run all around the park, and run back. Apparently, I thought I would peak early and accomplish my goal before summer even began. I don’t know what exactly prompted me to run around the entire park like a crazy man. It could have been a number of things: 1. I was excited about running around trees and nature vs. broken glass and exhaust fumes. 2. I was excited about running with other runners vs. the rude people in my neighborhood who point and heckle. 3. I was listening to some kick ass music, including my new favorite song which I am only slightly ashamed to admit liking. 4. I couldn’t stop thinking about Dr. D.
Thursday.40 minutes. Medium pace. 4-5 miles.
I think I fucked up my knees with all the running I did earlier this week. I was in quite a bit of pain for the duration of tonight’s run. Good thing I’m taking the next 4 days off from my rigorous running routine. Friday, Saturday and Sunday I’ll be on Fire Island celebrating Lady R’s B’day. Sunday night I’m having a sleepover at Dr. D’s. Monday Jeffrey and I our hosting an intimate BBQ in our backyard, to celebrate our court victory against Evil Landlord. (So don’t expect this blog to be updated again until after the holiday weekend.) As I ran around Fort Greene park tonight I caught the tail end of some fireworks display that was happening down by the river and peaking above the treetops. What a perfect beginning to what’s going to be the Best Weekend Ever.
Monday.60 minutes. Leisurely pace. 6-7 miles.
I almost crapped my pants multiple times on this run. 1.) When a rottweiler jumped up at me from behind a flimsy chain-link fence. 2.) When some other big dog jumped up at me, held back only by a leash that was attached to a small, frail woman. 3.) When some homeless man laying down outside of a liquor store started yelling obscenities at me. 4.) For the last third of my run where, without having been startled by anything, my bowels still felt like they needed to come out. TMI, I know.
Thursday.40 minutes. Picking up the pace. 4-5 miles.
Probably my fastest run to date. As I was making my way down to Fort Greene Park, I noticed a hot guy on the other side of the street, also running to the park. He was running at a real runner’s pace. To ogle him a bit longer (and because I like a little healthy competition), I decided to match his pace. I think he noticed, because when I tried to speed up, he sped up. Once we got to the park we went our separate ways… but I foolishly tried to keep the same pace for the rest of my run. I also decided that running up the huge set of stairs at the back entrance to the park was a good idea. My legs did not like me for the rest of the week.
Saturday.50 minutes. Medium pace. 5-6 miles.
I had a little extra kick in my run today for two different reasons. 1.) While at work I had been texting Dr. D, and I asked him to come rescue me. It was one of those moments where I thought to myself, Wouldn’t it be cute if he actually showed up? But I soon forgot about it…. So when he actually did show up at the end of the day (dropping off a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery for me none-the-less!) I was completely shocked. And flattered. 2.) For my entire run I listened to my latest obsession. Remember when I couldn’t stop talking about how awesome Robyn is? Well, just when I thought I would never find a new artist that I could love even more than Robyn… I discovered Duffy. She’s like Amy Crackhouse, minus the crack. (Which doesn’t make her better or worse. Just different.)
It all started when I tried to load the new Madonna CD onto my iPod. My iTunes couldn’t cram anymore gay-ass music into my Nano. It was full, maxed out at 1,000 songs. I don’t even want to do the math. Okay, I just did. $990. Did I really spend that much money on music in one year? I can’t even think about it. And obviously, I haven’t… since I continue to download more music.
In order to fit Magde on, I had to delete the “new” Smashing Pumpkins album that I never listened to. (Sorry guys, I used to be a lot more into you when I was trying to pass as straight.)
I then downloaded Roybn’s new CD, which if you haven’t purchased it yet… what are you waiting for? It’s amazing. You heard it here second. (Here first.)
To fit Robyn on, I had to get rid of some songs that people in my CD exchange sent to me. (See, I know I didn’t spend $990 on iTunes. Some of it was stolen from other people!)
And now today, I was looking at purchasing some Devo and TomTomClub to prepare for my Totally Awesome Summer Concert of ‘08. But in order to fit those on I am going to have to delete all of my Christmas music and then some.
What’s a cheesy80’s-divalicious-oldschoolcountry-unceunceunce music loving fag to do? My solution: Buy a new iPod!
Now, I’m not going to rush into this like I do with most of my spur-of-the-moment, let’s-buy-things-I-don’t-really-need spending sprees. I’m going to wait until after Jeffrey and I settle with our landlord in court.
Hopefully, we won’t have to pay all of our unpaid rent. And if I use that money to buy my new iPod, it will be like my landlord is buying it for me! That would be the first (and probably last) nice thing he has ever done for me.
Tonight I partook in one of the gayest moments in my life. While waiting for the subway, Jeffrey and I got in a heated debate over the lyrics of Ms. Mariah Carey’s hot new single “Touch My Body.” I did not believe him that the following lyrics were in the song:
Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
To settle our dispute, we both got out our iPods, synced up the song, and hit play at the exact same time. So, if you were on a Brooklyn-bound C train last night around 10pm, you might have seen two fags simultaneously rocking out to Mariah, and one of them (Jeffrey), actually touching his body. GAY!
Go ahead, touch my booty.
This one’s for you Jeffrey… who’s currently (and surprisingly) more obsessed with M.C. than I am:
