DAY 248: Victory!!! (Part Two)

The meeting between me, Jeffrey, Evil Landlord and Dreadlocked Lawyer was brief, yet awkward. Dreads asked Evil L. what we owed him… as if this was the first time they had even discussed the case! Evil L. handed Dreads a crumpled piece of paper. Dreads asked us if the amount on the piece of paper was correct. Jeffrey, in full Brockovich mode, said yes, the amount was correct… but we weren’t paying it.

Because his momma didn’t raise no fool, Dreads knew that neither side was going to budge. So he brought us into the secret back room in the court, where we met with a new character: Big Braids Bailiff. Because they had similar hairstyles, Dreads and B.B.B. (Big Braids Bailiff) were already friends. B.B.B. also already knew Evil Landlord, and not in a good way. They seemed to be on a first name basis. I’m guessing wasn’t his first time at the rodeo.

B.B.B. asked us what the situation was. We gave her a very, very, very, very abbreviated version. Like if you gave someone Cliff Notes on the Cliff Notes for “War and Peace.” Evil L. tried to deny some of the problems with our apartment, but B.B.B was having none of it. Instead she chided him for showing up late and making us wait in court all morning.

When asked how we wanted to settle this, Jeffrey and I gave Evil L. two options:

1. We pay back one of the three months we owe him, but then he has to give us some sort of guarantee that we are going to get our deposit back when we move out.

or

2. We don’t pay back any of the three months we owe him and he can keep the damn deposit.

I think I saw a blood vessel in Evil L’s face pop. He wanted us to pay back two of the three months, and then we could worry about the deposit later. Hell to the no! Jeffrey and I stood our ground and said that we would rather go in front of the judge than take his bullshit offer. We didn’t go though all this to break even.

Dreads pulled Evil L. back out into the hallway and Jeffrey and I sat in the secret back room with B.B.B. and watched the raindrops roll down the window. The funniest part about this whole ordeal so far, was that no one even bothered to take a look at Jeffrey’s jam-packed binder full of evidence against Evil L. His reputation truly proceeded him in court. We could have said anything we wanted about him and they would have believed us.

When Dreads and Evil L. returned, Evil L. looked like a puppy dog with his tail between his legs. Except, this was one puppy dog that no one felt any sympathy for.

When Evil L. gave us his new counter offer, I almost jumped out of my chair and yelled “Sucka!” His new agreement was that we wouldn’t have to pay the three months we owe, but we would pay full rent in June and move out by the end of the month. Also, he was keeping the deposit. So basically… it was Option #2, except we had to move out sooner. Which really, was fine with us. We are sooooo over this place and ready to move on.

After signing the settlement, Evil L. high tailed it out of the court room. He had rents to raise! Jeffrey and I finally got to appear in front of the judge… alone. The judge was a kind, yet stern-when-she-needed-to-be Latina woman. She went over the settlement with us and had us sign it. I like to think that we were her favorite case of the day, since we were probably the only people that appeared in front of her all day with a smile on their face.

Tonight to celebrate, we had our Wednesday Night Supper Club, where A. Rod made sushi! It was amazing.

Of course because we can never win 100%… Evil Landlord tried to get the last laugh. As I started doing the dishes, the hot water shut off completely. I had to boil water on the stove to finish.

Like I said, moving out this shithole by the end of June… is not going to be a problem.