DAY 127: Dear IKEA.

Dear IKEA,

Thank you for not having your MALM dresser in stock the first time I went to your store, bought a bunch of shit, and paid a ridiculous shipping fee to have everything delivered to me.

Thank you for charging me another ridiculous shipping fee when I ordered your MALM dresser online.

Thank you for shipping me a busted MALM dresser that took almost three weeks to arrive.

Thank you for making me spend two hours taking apart said busted MALM dresser and boxing it up (like you told me I had to do.)

Thank you for not picking up said busted MALM dresser (like you said you would) when you dropped off my replacement (and hopefully, not busted) MALM dresser. Now I have to try and see if our extremely picky garbage men will dispose of it.

Thank you for giving me a second opportunity to spend three putting together your MALM dresser.

Thanks again,
B. Kennedy

p.s. IKEA, in case you couldn’t tell… I was being sarcastic. But in all honesty, I guess I should thank you for giving me a good excuse to take the day off of work, so I could wait at home for the delivery guys.